


Seven Days

by Peachbulle



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Denial, Drinking, Grief/Mourning, I tagged this M/M but Venom is an alien so, Love, M/M, Mention of Anne/Dan, Swearing, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, thoughts of cannibalism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-08-26 10:57:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16680325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peachbulle/pseuds/Peachbulle
Summary: Just after the incident wih Riot and Drake, Eddie comes home, ready to care for his injured symbiote.It takes him days to realize the situation, more days to try to deal with it, and only one moment to decide if it is even worth it./Title and tags subject to changes; I'm pretty sure of where I'm going but the finer details are not yet determined so do keep an eye on the tags/





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello fellow shippers,
> 
> Here is my small contribution to the Venom fandom. I got in when watching the movie, so accuracy might not be on point.  
> Also, this is a WIP, it may never be finished. Please bear with me.  
> Also also, English is not my first language and I am posting this without beta. All the mistakes and weird grammar are mine.  
> On that note, hope you enjoy !!

On the day, just after the incident, Eddie calls for his symbiote.

He does not remember how he came back home, how he avoided the horde of policemen outside. He does not really care. When he comes back to himself, he is in his apartment, sitting on the floor in the middle of a mess of furniture and food, his back to the sofa.

He is still wet from his fall to the sea, dripping and ruining the wooden floor, but he does not feel the cold and does not care. The events from earlier keep replaying in his mind, like a broken record.

He remembers the flames, the pain he felt from where the symbiote – Venom, and himself were connected. The burning sensation, hot, so very, _hot_ , an encompassing burn in his insides and then a coat of black above his head, and he his breathing again and _Goodbye Eddie._

He blinks a couple times, willing the images to disappear. His hands automatically come to his rib cage feeling around, soft and protective, cuddling.

He talks, whispers soft nothings, slowly moving his hands, searching and comforting at once. The little pain loves to settle there, in the warmest place, close to the stomach, close to some unessential organs to munch on. Sometimes, it sleep tangled around his heart, but today, there is no feeling there; so Venom must be lower down. He calls out, softly, his throat feeling raw and painful.

“Venom, you in there?” he runs his hands gently over the skin of his stomach, reaching to the sides too, trying the rouse the probably severely injured symbiote.

His body is perfectly still, something he did not know he could do. He does not dare move, his hands stop their soft touches, for fear of missing a flutter of movement or a whispered cry. There is none.

He waits though, resuming his lazy movements with his hands and fingers.

“Buddy, hey, it’s okay now,” he reassures, his voice barely a whisper “Riot is dead, the fire is gone, we are safe.”

His internal organs stay perfectly still. No nudge or soft, cool, slimy texture sliding over them in reassurance.

He brings his hands to his head, covering the sounds of sirens and nightly chaos. Tries to feel for the ever present sensation of another consciousness.

 _“Venom?”_ He whispers in his head, trying to remember the feeling. He never uses the mental bond, but Venom _does_ and since the symbiote is part of him he should be able to do it too. Even if he can’t find the link by himself, if he calls, the little squatter will surely answer. It always does.

But his head is painfully silent.

 _“Come on, stop messing with me”_ His right leg is shaking but he barely notices. He pokes at different parts of his body.

 _“Oi,_ Parasite! _”_ He screams in his mind, angry at being ignored. Half of it comes loudly, and is throat is constricted and his words come out wobbly.

He fully expects at least a cry of indignation. Maybe even a bite at one of his kidneys. He does not realizes that he is smiling in expectation.

A minute passes, then two. His smile fades and his cheeks are wet. Why is Venom not answering?

“Hey, bud, I’m sorry.” He sniffles “I didn’t mean it, you’re not a parasite,” he can barely form the sentence, his speech is jerky. He feels very cold, “p-lease, answer...”

 Then, as his own stomach grumbles, it hits him. His symbiote must be hungry, he must have gotten really hurt and needs energy to heal. Of course. He is an idiot.

He lunges at the fridge with a renewed sense of purpose.

***

The nights bleeds away, and with sunrise, the first day after the incident starts.

There is filth everywhere, empty packaging carelessly thrown on the floor and stains of sauce on the walls. But there are worst things than a dirty, messy apartment.

Eddie is in the middle of the carnage, munching on his tenth chicken nugget, a fuming mug of hot chocolate in his left hand, in the middle of the chaos that used to be his kitchen. His cheeks are red, his hands shaking. His legs have long since stopped supporting him and he sits in a “w” position, his ass in the floor and his eyes staring emptily at nothing.

He ate everything. The fridge door is still open, displaying the empty compartments, there is one beer left but Eddie will not drink it, it makes his symbiote feel queasy.

Not once piece of chocolate nor any Tater Tots escaped his methodical ingestion of food. Even the vegetables – if only to spite Venom into talking. His symbiote hates all that is healthy, yet, he did not complain even once.

Eddie feels like throwing up, his insides move but only from over-eating and digestion. There is no signs of threads of black goo and he only feels full because of his bulimic attempt at saving his symbiote.

He brings his hands to his heart, it is beating so fast, Eddie thinks he is going to be sick. He still cannot feel Venom. He can’t swallow the last nugget because his throat is constricting by itself but he needs to, he can’t give up now, he’ll swallow the damn sobs with the fucking nugget.

“Please” he repeats for what must be the hundredth time, once he finishes eating “ _Please Vee”_ he adds in his mind, reaching out only to find nothingness and unbearable silence.

More tears stain his cheeks as he falls into blissful unconsciousness.

***

Hours after ingesting the last of his food supplies, a cat comes and meows dramatically at his window jerking him back into the world of the living.

It takes him less than two seconds to be at the window, opening it to let the black ball of fluff in.

“Vee, vee, buddy, it’s y-you right?” He hates himself for the trembling of his voice. He knew though, he knew his symbiote was alive. Maybe he had been mistaken, it had not been resting inside him but he’d known, and now they would be whole again!

The cat just looks at him, thoroughly unimpressed and meows once more, but no Venom comes out to touch Eddie’s outstretched hand. The cry that leaves Eddie’s mouth just about says it all.

Venom is not coming back. He is just not. The fire took him, goodbye meant Farewell. They would never be together again.

Eddie laughs, and it sounds a bit crazy, even to his own ears. He laughs at his own stupidity, pearls of salty water dripping from his eyes to his cheeks, mouth and neck. He claws at his face, trying to wake himself up, but he can’t because it’s not a dream, it’s a nightmare and it’s real…

He can’t breathe but maybe it’s not that bad. He grabs the cat, can’t even bring himself to marvel at its fluffiness. He can only realizes in a painful gasp that he does not want to eat the animal, and it’s proof enough that his symbiote is not there anymore. Not inside him, and probably nowhere else.

He lies on the floor, cuddling the cat, hiccupping occasionally until time just loses its tangibility and he drifts away in his mind.

*****

When the clocks hits 5 in the morning the next day, Eddie is still lying down on the floor. He just holds his chests with both hands, watching from the corner of his eye the sun rise, a new day start. The cat is gone. His head hurts.

He needs to know. That’s all he can think about. His muscles are sore, but he determinedly heads out and towards the sea.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is me with a second chapter. I wrote it at work (bad me) so there might be silly mistakes.  
> I know I should have taken time to proof read more but I am very excited. I have never written this fast and I feel like I should use the momentum.
> 
> Also, huge THANK YOU to everyone for reading, bookmarking, leaving kudos and commenting. Those are my fuel and however small those gestures may seem, they reached my heart and motivated me a lot. 
> 
> On this, enjoy.

It is the second day, and Eddie is back where it all happened.

There are still remnants of the wreckage and prowling police offers everywhere. He is not subtle, and has to punch one of them square in the nose in order to get through, avoids the shackles by the skin of his teeth but he manages. He says he lost someone there, that he needs to check, he is not lying.

The officer nods, visibly more receptive to grief than violence. Now Eddie’s hand hurts (for nothing), but it is a good pain, distracting.

They are all looking for proofs, maybe bodies. It is a legal mess, nobody really knows what happened and no one wants to believe two giant aliens and their hosts managed such carnage. It is true though, Eddie knows, he was there.

The smell of destruction is still strong, burnt metal and ashes mixing with the salty fragrance of the sea. Eddie stares at the vast expanse of water, he was here not so long ago. He is waiting his brain to catch up. It doesn’t want to.

He used to love the sea. He would go to swim and relish in the feeling of weightlessness, protected and supported by the water. Anne never understood, but Venom did. _Does._ His symbiote loves the freshness, the smooth caress of water against its skin – Eddie remembers the sensation of contentment seeping through the bond the first time they’d fled in the water.

All he can think now, as he kneels and lets a hand slide into the salty depths, is how cold and wrong it feels. They’d been so close, yet, it had not protected anyone, it had stayed fucking calm and still while the rocket, while Venom _burned_.

It’d been suffocating, flooding nastily in his lungs as he fell, still screaming for his symbiote to come the fuck back _inside._ The water had made his movement sluggish, and his extended hand had not even reached the surface. It’d blurred his vision, and he could not see Venom anymore, just red and orange and _fire._ His last look at his partner had been full of anguish, black tendrils constricted in pain and yet, _still,_ protecting him better than any water could have.

Now he might never see it again. He is not ready for this to come true.

It isn’t _fair._ They ~~were~~ -are a team, _they are Venom_.

When he opens his eyes – when did he close them? – a familiar wetness escapes them.

“We are Venom. **_We_** are. I can’t do it alone buddy.”

He cannot even laugh at the irony. He had refused his symbiote most of the time, rejected him at the first bump on the road, and there he was, crying his eyes out for an alien that had made him eat and maim humans. An alien that squatted his body and invaded his mind without permission. An alien that had protected him, snarked at him in times of despair and called for him “ **Eddie, Eddie, Eddie”**

The Life foundation took everything from him. Even the only being able to maybe, one day, complete him totally. It makes him makes to punch something. It’s their fault if he is suffering, their fault that Vee is missing.

All. Their. Fault.

And, _oh_ , isn’t that a convenient cardboard with Carlton fucking Drake promoting his dumb foundation on it?

 _Just perfect._ He thinks, as his foot smashes through Drake’s perfect face. But it’s not enough, he needs more.

He rips through the mess, looking for something, anything. He smashes random pieces of metal, bleeds his hands moving the rubble, and scrapes his knees when he falls. He looks around, eyes roaming for something more to destroy and maybe a little bit hoping to find his symbiote behind heavy debris.

“I’m going to find you,” he mumbles, there is no way an alien as strong would die simply by fire. Even if said fire is its weakness. “Just wait” his knees crack when he tries to lift a huge piece a metal.

His rage only equals his despairing quest of finding his Other. He breaks everything that crosses his path. He does not care if his hands sting or if his backs hurts from the heavy weights.

“I’m not giving up on you” He had made the mistake once already. He was no fool to make it twice. Not when it hurt that much to be separated. Not when he was starting to realize he’d lost something way more important than a super-powered human-eating blob.

“You saved me plenty, my turn” he avoids looking the blood on some pieces of metal. He knows it must be his or Drake’s but his traitorous brain cannot help but providing him with awful images of his symbiote bleeding out, alone and afraid.

“ _It does not bleed, stop it brain”_ he turns his face to the next target of his righteous anger.　Even if Venom is dead, he still deserves better than rotting away or worse, being taken by scientists for awful experiments.

But it is not dead. Can’t be. Eddie won’t let it be.

“Veeeee” It had remembered Eddie’s name, wanted him. Protected him. Made him whole in a sense, provided him with something foreign that not many humans will ever get the chance to experience. “V-Ve-eee”

Somewhere in his brain, between smacking the floor with his bare fists and cursing Carlton Drake to hell and back, a little voice murmurs _There is no point in calling, it is dead._

It makes him want to destroy everything all over again.

He has half a mind to go and bomb the rest of the place, finish their work, offer Venom a great legacy – maybe even blow himself with it, just to stop this void spreading from where his symbiote used to be. He does not think he can stand fire though. Probably never again.

He can handle tearing through rocket waste some more though.

*****

By the time he is finished and he slumps in the middle of his self-created carnage, a blurry version of Anne stands over him. He tries to move his arms, check if she his real, but he is restrained.

“Eddie, what happened to you?” She asks gently, but even her touch on his face makes him flinch. Or maybe it’s the name, he is not sure if he will ever be able to hear it without wanting to cry.

“Annie. It’s gone, Vee…” he sniffles, his eyes straining to stay open. Mustering anger is hard right now. “I have to find it, I looked everywhere, but I can’t, I _can’t_ Annie”

He might be hallucinating, but he thinks he sees pearly tears at the corners of his friend’s face.

“Oh, Eddie… Venom, it’s, it’s gone” She says softly, taking on that tone, the one she uses when she has something painful to share. Her thumb is rubbing on his biceps, but he barely takes any comfort from the gesture.

He just stares.

“They, um, they found some crystalized black matter and…”

Eddie’s whole body goes rigid, frozen between denial and overwhelming grief, eyes wide open, his head hurting from shaking it. Only one word manages to go through the knot in his throat and the dryness of his lips “No”

Anne goes on, says something about people not realizing that it was Venom, about taking the little piece of it with her while they weren’t looking and securing it in her car. She mentions giving it a proper funeral (but how the heck are funerals in space, do they even have them, how would they have to do to properly honor the symbiote?) but his brain is long gone, he is past all those questions.

And all he can think is that he let Venom down, it had endured so much to survive, to find a host it could protect, someone it could be an item with, a team to face the outside world.

And Eddie had not been able to protect it.

He drifts away with that thought, and dreams of gruesome images of crystallized matter. Of weird shapes next to mutilated bodies and small tendrils – almost shaped like hands – stuck to windows as if begging to let them out…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry.  
> According to my plan, there are at least four more chapter to go. Not all is lost, not all is over.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm back !  
> I have not forgotten about the story, but, as if aware of my sudden inspiration, my job as been requiring most of my attention. Of course, that left me little time to write.   
> Also, this chapter was, for some reason, not coming together like I wanted. Now it's all good and I am back on tracks.
> 
> Once again THANK YOU so much for all the comments and kudos and bookmarks. Some comments made me laugh and other made my little sensitive heart burst with happiness. 
> 
> (Not Beta'd so all the mistakes are mine. Enjoy !)

When Eddie wakes up, he wishes very strongly to go back to sleep. But of course, his wishes matter little to the unrelenting force striving to make his life as miserable as possible. Instead, with no moment of blissful ignorance allowed, his mind starts remembering and soon enough he is wide awake, shaking even as he is covered in warm and softs sheets.

The numbness he has felt ever since the incident is ever present, overpowering any sort of physical pain coming from overexerting his muscles. He can’t say if it is a blessing or a curse.

The chair beside the bed is empty, and this is a relief. He does not know if he could cope with questions and pity straight away. He needs time. In the silence of what is probably early morning, he feels like he can think clearly for the first time since losing Venom.

The whole situation is confusing, but the way he hurts and almost _yearns,_ particularly mystifies him. His brain, and the logic he spent years building, tell him that there is no cause for such grief. His heart though, or at least the emotional parts of him, disagree in a very manifest way – constricting his chest and swelling his eyes with tears.

Like it had lost the only meaningful thing to beat for.

_Fuck._

It does not make sense. They had been “Venom” for less than a week and yet, the pain he feels is equal, if not more than when Anne left him after years of relationship. Now that he thinks about it, his state of mind is probably influenced by the symbiosis, and the after effects of it being ripped away from him. After all, they had been _one_ for a short period of time. Eddie had no secrets for his symbiote, and although the contrary had not been true, to a certain degree they had shared so much more than normal people could hope to.

But the symbiote, had been a parasite and the symbiosis a result of this sickness. It had been a codependent, unhealthy, _sick,_ relationship. At first it had not even been consensual. There is nothing to mourn for.

So why does he feel like a very important piece of himself is missing?

He remembers, not so long ago, a feeling akin to this one. When he had rejected the symbiote, angrily asking “what about “We””. It had been painful, even knowing that the little shit had been munching on his organs without his consent, just satisfying its greed. At the time his anger and subsequent kidnapping had muted the feeling enough but now that he takes time to analyze his feelings, he had felt a strange void spread as well.

 _But it had returned to him._ Ultimately, he had been alone only for a few hours. Nothing definitive enough to trigger the sort of response he is having these days.

He is forced to admit, against all sort of sound judgement, that even without that, he would have taken his symbiote, Venom – or whatever it wanted to be called, back. _Willingly._ Despite the betrayal, the man eating and the lack of privacy.

That day, in the forest, he had already taken a decision, chosen symbiote companionship over healthy relationship. Picked _them_ over _him_ , elected the weirdest form of Freedom available. And it had been _good._

The still sane part of his conscious might still refuse it, deny it all it wants, but Eddie’s choice that night was probably the reason his heart was figuratively bleeding on the lime green silk sheets.

He can still distinctly remember it, the way his heart had picked up the pace when Venom and its host had begun approaching him, intent clear in their eyes. The unexpected anticipation he had barely had time to register before they mercilessly assaulted his oral cavity.

The truth is, he had relished in it, even knowing that there was no need to go _that_ far. Venom had had no problem the first time and it had most definitely not involved any tongue sucking.

He had loved that peculiar feeling of something smooth soaking his skin and suddenly seeping inside, _fondling_ his organs as it looked for the best place to settle. He had had no complaints about that monstrous tongue dancing against his own, and the clawed hand caressing his shoulder. And maybe he had moaned at the loss of Venom and the switch from Toothy Alien to more delicate, human lips…

Eddie stops that thought right there, unwilling to let himself think more about that kiss.

Or the confession that followed.

Being his symbiote’s reason for stopping a carnage was still an emotional moment, especially for him. He had felt, for the first time, that he was someone’s everything. He is not sure he can handle thinking about it now, no matter how much his brain feels like it.

He will _not_ remember how much of it sounded like Vee knew he might not make it.

No.

_Nope._

Definitely not remembering.

There is a knock on the door and he almost jumps out of his skin, letting a small whine past his lips (He wishes for second that he could hear Venom laugh at him again) but it provides a decent distraction from his turmoil.

“Eddie?” Anne inquires, voice soft in her best imitation of a Doctor. Maybe Dan takes time to teach her when he comes back from work.

“Yeah” He rasps, automatically turning to find a glass of water on the bedside table. Bless the thoughtful people.

Anne enters, going through the door slowly and closing it with making only the barest sound. She smiles at him and it barely reaches her eyes. She worries, he knows by the way her eyes scan him from head to sheet covered toes. She takes it all in, the way he shakes and the bags he knows are under his eyes, the pallor of his skin…

“How are you feeling?” She does seem to want to know the answer. He wants to lie, play it cool but all he can think of is her face, the day before, telling him what he did not want to hear. How could he even make his zygomatic muscle move after that?

“Not so good.” He goes for casually sad, but it ends up flat and distant. Anne winces, sitting very carefully on the side of the bed, “I don’t know, I feel so… empty”

He is grateful when she does not state the obvious, because, in the strictest sense, he _is_ empty now. It is enough to feel every ounce of void in his body, places he had not realized needed to be filled with alien goo. He probably lost his mind too, because he misses the constant rambling of his symbiote in his head. Damn symbiosis and fuck his own desires.

“Do you want to talk?” Anne asks, she is being patient with him, as she always is. He wants to talk, say something, but he is not sure she will understand. She had wanted V to leave him alone, and only reluctantly accepted to host him because the World was in peril.

She probably sees something on his face because she takes on that guilty look, the one where her lips quiver slightly and she cannot meet his eyes.

“Can I… Say something?” He nods, not sure if the tension in her shoulder is a good thing.

“I, I don’t know if I should tell you, but that kiss in the forest… umm”

 _Oh._ Oh no. Whatever she plans on saying next, he is pretty sure is not ready for it. She is beautiful, and kind and he had wanted to kiss and make up with her for what had to be the longest six months of his life but now that it had happened… He just, can’t.

He is still mourning, and she is in a relationship. Maybe Vee had read Annie’s thoughts and found repressed desires, maybe it had forced her, and he doesn’t _want_ to know. That kiss had felt more like Venom than Anne anyway, the tongue had been too damn long, and teeth had scraped.

“It was your buddy’s idea!” she almost screams at him, “It wanted to do it” She says a bit more softly, blushing. Her words still come out like an express train; and god, do they hurt like being hit by one too.

Had he not just stopped himself from thinking about that kiss? Karma is a bitch.

“What’s gotten into you, so suddenly?” he gives her his best tired smile, hoping she will drop the subject. It is a lost cause, of course, since Anne is a _not communicating is not going to solve the problem_ type of person. Which could be very nice, if it was not directed at him.

She sighs, a long suffering one, but doesn’t say anything straight away. Eddie just watches her fiddle with her fingers, her eyes shifting from one side to another as if analyzing possible choices and outcomes. He shifts into the sheets, waiting.

“Gods, I, I’m really not good at this.” She looks at him, as if she is hoping he might understand her meaning by the power of stares alone. Of course he doesn’t and she bites her lip in frustration or maybe embarrassment, he doesn’t really know but he wishes she would hurry. 

With what appears to be renewed determination but are really nerves (the jerky movements give her away), she sits on the bed close to him. He can smell the Jasmine of her favorite perfume and it is as comforting as it is ever going to get with her radiating stress.

“You know, it was inside of me for a while – oh god it sounds so weird – uh, and… Well, it talked. To me.” She waits until Eddie nods, which he does.

“I expected it to be some kind of mindless beast, or uh, there is really no good way to say that, make me kill people.” She blushes in shame, but Eddie cannot blame her, because it had taken him a while to accept Venom and his weird ways.

“But Eddie,” She takes his hand, grounding him and that is a sign of an oncoming triggering conversation content, “It only talked about you; how stupid I had been to let you go but not to worry because it would protect you…”

It is a good (horrible) thing that she is holding his hand because he just feels to urge to bolt and hide in a closet. He is very sure he does not want to have this conversation with Anne.

“It wanted to make you feel happy, because it had had plenty of hosts but none of them made it feel like you did.” She continues and tightens her hold a little bit. “Two losers who found each other or something” She frowns and Eddie feel the upper corners of his lips twitch.

“And, it made me promise Eddie…” Her tone is halfway between sad and mad, which reminds him much of the day she broke up with him. It is not the same of course, but he is not sure if he can handle his life being put through the same strain it had been at the time. That tone just does not call for happy news.

He wants to asks about what Vee said, but he can’t because there is a lump in Eddie’s throat again, he cannot even form words with his airway blocked liked that.

“And believe me I don’t want to say it, I don’t think it will be good for you. It was an egotistical little…alien, and it just did not think about what those kind of words could do to you…”

She keeps on rambling but he just cannot take much more of this. He takes a deep breath, trying to gather his resolve. He has been wanting answers what happened to Vee, and Anne had a message from his Other. He wants to know.

“Annie, just tell me, please.” He is proud when his voice does not tremble, he is doing his best to control his inner turmoil.

She stares him down for many seconds before she starts talking again:

“We are Venom, and we can do whatever we want. So...”

 She stops, takes a breath.

“I’ll always be with you, Eddie.”

Eddie has cried so much, there are no tears left to stain his cheeks. Instead his mind just goes blank, only one word managing to find a way out as he closes upon himself.

_Liar._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovelies,
> 
> It's me again, with proper holidays dedicated to writing (Yaaay)  
> I really wanted to post this chapter before new year but took me ages to finish. In the end I'm satisfied with it ( hell, I never write chaptered fiction so just uploading something is good as far as I am concerned). Once again, thanks for all the comments, kudos and bookmarks. You guys are brilliant and I wish you q wonderful year ahead!  
> Enough of my ramblings, on with the chapter

Eddie is not a very well-adjusted human being. It is quite obvious even on a normal day, his inability to practice self-care and his hardships at keeping a job are probably telltale signs – and nobody should even mention how eating people had been a thing for a couple days because that was a dangerous thing to admit to.

He knows very well that he does not excel at adulthood and completely failed the test for safe decision making. Still, to escape by the window of Anne and Dan’s home whilst holding the crystallized remains of his symbiote is a behavior that he thinks he should be worried about. Thing is, he is not. The sole focus for him is to make it back to his destroyed home. He needs it. Needs to get away from the pitying looks and the badly disguised attempts at psychoanalyzing him.

Away from the subtle threats of having him hospitalized if he attempts something. He has no idea of what he would even attempt, but he is too numb to care.

But right now, it is not his biggest problem. He frowns, trying to evaluate to height between the window sill and the bushes under. It is not terrible, way less of a challenge than falling from a gigantic tower or getting close to the door and handle Anne’s well-meaning questioning or cope with Dan’s way too understanding looks.

He clutches the bundle in his arms a bit more – it is wrapped in the silky lime green sheets he had slept in, and he cannot help wondering if Vee would like them. He’d never asked what its favorite color was or how human materials felt to it.

Not that they really had time for getting to really know each other, between the mess with Drake and Riot and the getting used to each other’s presence.

He misses a step, and that’s what you get for letting yourself be distracted when in a precarious position. The first contact of his back with the pointy branches and scratchy leaves almost makes him regret not facing his friends and spare himself the bruising.

Except, he does not regret anything. Not when he had followed his instinct, the only thing he felt he could rely on anymore.

****  
~~He is~~ , they are finally home.

Letting himself fall on his messed-up bed, cuddling the rigid remains of Venom, Eddie can guess why people would be worried for him. Hugging a corpse is at best something that is frowned upon. Stealing it from his friend’s place, while pretending to be needing sleep just so that they left them alone, is crazy enough.

But there had been something, a tug in his mind, like a compulsion he could not resist. As if his messed up “self-care” instinct had finally kicked in, telling him he had to go. Spend time alone, make peace with himself away from prying eyes that would not understand. Or maybe he was simply making excuses for not wanting to be weak in front of his friends. Whichever, it had led to the same result.

It had been a battle, but he had managed.

Eddie had not wanted to talk after Anne’s revelation, needing time to process it but Anne still came and went, insisting that he talks to her, or to Dan, or to someone. Eddie did not want to talk though, he only wanted his friend back, however Anne is reluctant to give the crystallized black matter she found at the scene. Told him he might be too fragile, that he should make sense of his feelings first.

The wrinkle in the middle of her brow had only deepened when he kept asking for his other, her mouth just repeating that it was unhealthy to keep thinking of the alien like that. From then, she had filled the silence with much caring counsel and endless hopeful statement about the future.

_It has only been a short cohabitation, you can still manage. The infection and consequences of the symbiosis can be countered if you make some efforts._

_You will get to live a normal life, find love (again) and one day forget all of this has happened._

But Eddie had never been good at listening to sensible advice. And he did not want to forget.

It only made him want to ignore them more, to become a willing prisoner of a cage of silence. Like a bratty boy throwing a tantrum, but he didn’t care, still doesn’t even as he thinks about it again. He was just not ready to talk, instead evolving in a sort of stillness as he waited for acceptance to finally become accessible to his wounded feelings. 

It made things strained between them and he got to hear heated arguments between the couple too. It had given him the distinct feeling that absolutely everything was breaking around him, and it was his fault, again.

Finally, after what seemed like ages, Dan brought the crystallized remains of his companion, the sharps edges covered by fluffy sheets. Dan gave him the bundle slowly, as if making sure Eddie could handle it. Or maybe Dan pondered the worth of destroying his relationship with Anne over giving her ex-fiancé the alien blop he had bonded with.

Eddie had not cared much either way. Not when he faced with a perfect copy of the massacre he had witnessed at the Life foundation’s lab.

Seeing his friend like this (cold and spiky, unmoving) had been the moment of truth, the undeniable proof that it is dead. He could not even tell how he was able to identify Venom, but he just knew that this was it. Acceptance was his only choice, yet, denial is still fighting strong inside of him, the words Anne relayed to him coming back with a vengeance.

Venom had never been good with metaphor and grandiloquent declarations, and he let himself entertain the he hopes that it meant precisely what it said, that Venom was still there.

With him. Somewhere.

Although it did not make sense at all.

“Oh Vee…” He had whispered, feeling nothing short of devastated to finally see it for himself, to have his hopes crushed in the most definitive way. “You idiot” One of his hand is hovering above the symbiote, hesitant to touch, not quite ready.

They had respectfully turned when Eddie had started crying again, hands finally touching, caressing all over Venom and trying to find some warmth, a heartbeat, a pulse. Something.

Anything.

When he had told them that they wished to sleep – dutifully putting the small bundle that was Venom on the bed side table and pretending he did not ache to just cuddle with it, their voices had taken the softest intonation, and their eyes clouded with grief.

At first Eddie had thought it was for Venom, for its sacrifice.

But then Annie, beautiful and sweet Annie, had said: “Please, let us take care for you Eddie”

He had not answered, there was nothing to say to that without lying, and when her eyes dimmed a bit more under the assault of grief, he had felt a powerful guilt seize him, as well as, the realization that they were mourning him too.

Like Eddie was too far gone, lost to them too.

Look back, maybe he is.

***

Laying on his own dirty bed makes him feel good. Secure in a way he probably should especially with the cold wind coming through the man-shaped hole in the window. The realization that his life is a mess is not even shocking anymore.

Venom had promised that they would always be together. Told Annie, confident like there was a chance of survival yet making it sound like its last words. Eddie did not understand why any of this was happening to them, why Riot and Drake got to die together but Venom had to suffer the cleansing of righteous flames to protect a failure like Eddie.

Of course, it was not his fault Venom was gone, Annie had not left him alone until she had made sure he could repeat the words convincingly enough. He just could not help but wonder how his Other could have put itself in jeopardy just for a mess of a human being who could neither keep a job nor a fiancée and whose only success in life was having managed to even live that long.

Later down the line, he might have to tell Anne that even the repetition of “it is not my fault” is not enough to contain the weight of his sins anymore. He doesn’t want to tell her though, she might worry even more.

“I’m so, so sorry love” he whispers, unware of he term of endearment he uses naturally, “I didn’t mean you were a parasite” his breath hitch “I want you to know that you were welcome, and, and I was afraid, and I didn’t understand but you, I never wanted you to go.”

His traitorous brain can not help imagining the symbiote, after their awful separation, trying to reach out. Maybe it had seen Eddie’s fear and hesitation, his desire for a normal life and thought it was not a good match for Eddie. Thought Eddie would be happier with it gone and refused to be a burden, two birds one stone, destroy Riot and die in the process. Or maybe Eddie was just projecting, he will never know.

“If only I had been stronger. A better host for you.”

Eddie talks to his symbiote for what seems like hours on end, lying on the bed spooning the crystallized matter, apologizing and whispering reassurances. Blaming himself too. He prays to a god he does not believe in just to see if for once he might be able to salvage something important to him, a relationship that could have bloomed into a beautiful companionship.

Into love, even, as fucked up as it might seem.

But it won’t bloom into anything, instead, soon, Eddie will have to bury his feelings along with what is left of Venom.

It’s on the dawn of that fourth day without Venom that Eddie comes to a decision. He will give himself three more days, make it a full week without V, somewhat honor its sacrifice. And if the pain has not receded, then he will…

He will,

 

 

 

Disappear.

Strangely, it is quite a comforting feeling to fall asleep to.

 

 

****  
_Dark. Everything dark. Nothing. No feeling. No hunger. Almost gone, barely there. Cold. Dark._

_One thought, Eddie. Eddie. Eddie._

**_Soon._**  
****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it hope I see? Or the premice for even more angst?  
> Who knows (certainly not me, huhuhu)


End file.
